But Wait, There's More!

Have you ever been watching TV and suddenly a commercial popped that made you sit there and laugh - not because it was written well, but because it was so completely ridiculous? I saw one the other day, it made me bust out into hysterics. Partially because I have mental issues, I guess, but... okay, has anyone here heard of the "Slap Chop"? Anyone? No? Okay, well the Slap Chop is this little chopping machine that helps you cut vegetables and fruit and all that into little pieces. It was being advertised on TV the other night as I was saying, and the guy who was advertising it was chopping things, and he decided to chop some walnuts. Except he didn't say it all smooth like "Pay attention to how smooth the blades cut through these walnuts as I press down on the lid of this 'Slap Chop' machine"... no.... he said "You're going to LOVE my nuts!!". (Don't believe me? Check it out at 0.54 seconds http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUbWjIKxrrs ).

*Pause* Now really. Either the script was written by blondes, or it was planned, of which I would just have to ask WHY exactly are they playing it during children's cartoons? (Not that I, uh *cough* watch childrens cartoons). Maybe he DID intend for it, cos apparently he thought everyone would love his..... *clearing throat* Never mind. (SEE? http://www.hollywoodgrind.com/vince-shlomi-arrested-and-mug-shot/ http://www.seanpaune.com/2009/04/09/shamwow-guy-vince-shlomi-police-evidence-photos/ )

ANYWAY, it got me thinking about all the other bad infomercials and infomercial products that are out there. There are a lot of bad ones out there, people. I made a list of the top five worst informercial products that I could find videos for - here they are, in no particular order.

The Hawaii Chair


Now REALLY. How is it even POSSIBLE for that to work right? Sure, I understand getting a "workout", what makes perfect sense, if you manage to stay perfectly still. But getting work done? You're going to be ALL over the place in that seat.......... how ridiculous. (If you can't view this, click this link to watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9_amg-Aos4 )

The Tiddy Bear


"The tiddy bear. That's T-I-D-D-Y bear". First of all - what the (*this part is censored*)?!?! And second..... why would anyone over the age of THREE use one of these? I couldn't find the "This is a product of Pot Smokers of America" anywhere in the product information, but trust me.... it's there.
Somewhere.
(If you can't view this video, click this link to watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJUBFkVrk9s )

Rejuvenique Electric Facial Mask


Oh. My. Word. Seriously, when I saw this, I was scared. And I STILL am. That is the most frightening thing I've seen in my whole life. And trust me, I've seen a lot. Why would anyone even think about buying this? ESPECIALLY after watching the video? "Like 8 sit-ups a second".... "9 volt battery"...... "MILD impulse"..... HELLO????????? What is WRONG with this picture? You're going to take a metal mask that's hooked up to a battery, place it on your FACE and switch it ON? For WHAT, may I ask? That is NOT going to remove wrinkles, trust me. That's going to GIVE you wrinkles. Have you ever seen someone after they've been electrocuted? Probably not... but I bet they aren't wrinkle-free. Cos if they were, they'd be telling their life story, and then next thing you know, a whole bunch of 6o-year-old women will be walking outside in storms holding metal poles, hoping to get a lightening bolt wrinkle miracle cure. *Looking at video still* It looks the the mask from the Halloween movie. (If you can't view this video, click this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXcYVh-W14E )

My Lil' Reminder


There are two reason that I am against this. First, because it's lazy. What ever happened to writing a list? I mean, is it that hard? You take a pencil and a pad of paper, jot down what you need and WHAMMO, you made a reminder. The ONLY excuse I can even POSSIBLY give this is that it was made for people with carpal tunnel. But I don't see that being given out at hospitals, so I guess not. Second is that it could very well end up being completely mortifying. I mean, shopping lists, right? There you are, in the middle of aisle 4, surrounded by tons of people, you press the button and what do you hear? "Buy tampons" over a speakerphone. I think anyone who buys one of these deserves it. (If you can't view this video, click this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OV4KunKyOk (Sorry about it repeating in french in the end!))

Snuggie For Dogs


First of all, I would like to just make a note that Snuggies are retarded. You heard me. Retarded. It's an obese bathrobe, that's what it is. People say it's a great, well you know what? I would like to give you the definition of "Great". "Great", according to Merriam-Webster means "Remarkable, grand, or markedly superior in character or quality". *Reading it over again* Sorry, but I can't see anything about wearing a fuzzy bathrobe backwards in there. Nope, sorry. Now that I have gotten that across, I would like to add that I do not see ANYWHERE in the Dictionary, Thesaurus, or Book of Morals and Humanity where it says that greatness is dressing our dogs up in a backwards bathrobe. In fact, I do believe that several pet shelters are discovering dogs out in the street or in the basements of peoples homes wearing snuggies. Mm hmm, yup... I'm pretty sure of it. I don't have any proof of it, but trust me, it's happening. (If you can't view this video, click this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-q4kZDIfk0 )

What do YOU think is/was the worst infomercial product of all time? Leave a comment below!