When All Else Fails, Be Random

So, I finally remembered that it was a Tuesday on a Tuesday. Lately, I have been forgetting to blog, but this time - THIS time! - I remembered. But, I have a little problem. I have no idea what to blog about. Sure, I could talk about Christmas, but first of all, it's over, and second of all, no one wants to hear someone go on about what they got. At least, not on a blog. Especially if they are a Beatles fan, and they got Abbey Road for Christmas (LIKE ME). Because they could go on and on about it for hours. Well, okay, not hours. Anyone who talks about a single album for hours on end either works in an advertising company, or they have a serious personality disorder.Who talks about music for hours on end? Oh. Me. I could also blog about New Years, but honestly? Boring. Although, I could talk about what I am doing for New Years (I am wrapping an exercise ball with tin foil, taping Christmas tree lights to it, and dropping it out of my bedroom window via a fishing pole (if I can ever fight my way far enough into the garage to find it), so that it's just like the ball drop in Times Square), but there's really not much to say about that. New Years is pretty boring in my opinion. People drink, sing annoying songs, throw confetti at each other (and PS, it takes like, 7 weeks to get glitter completely out of your hair), and make resolutions, aka "Promises I'm making because 1) it sounds good and 2) I swear to God I'll follow through with them this time, but in all reality, I'm not going to make it past February 15th." What's the point?

So, after much thinking, I decided that I'm not going to blog about anything. I've decided to resort to making lists again. Except about nothing in particular. I am breaking my main rule this time, which is to not talk about anything severely personal. Cos you know what? It doesn't even matter, does it? The only people who read this (three, that I can count) all know me. Soooo... it's not like I'm going to bore you all to death, am I? Or maybe I am. Too bad! X-out now if you don't want to hear anymore! Cos here we go.... I am going to list 25 completely random things about me. Ready? Go. (Oh, and by the way, I chose the picture for the blog simply because it's random. Or, it's random that I posted it anyway. Yeah.)

25 Random things about me:

1) My favorite injury that I got was one that I received from tap dancing on the top of a large Rubbermaid under-the-bed storage box when I was about 8-years old or so. I have a one-and-a-half inch scar on my thigh in the shape on an N from it. It's cool, cos my middle name starts with an N.

2) The first time I ever volunteered at a soup kitchen and homeless shelter, I was scared to death, thanks to the stories my Dad would tell me about how desperate homeless people are. (It was far from scary, just so you know).

3) I'm Baptist, my best friend is an Atheist, and we have never once gotten into an argument about religion. Which for anyone else would be amazing, but it's not really amazing to me. We both respect each other highly.

4) I was in a trivia club when I was younger, and I made it to the regional championships and wasn't allowed to finish because I got all the answers right, and they accused me of cheating (Which I wasn't).

5) I hate the color orange more than anything in the world.

6) When I get really mad, my eyes water.

7) I hate Coca-cola, but I have like, a trillion little glasses and coasters and such that have their logo on it, because it's so classy, and I completely adore it.

8) I'm a Grade-A student in everything except for Math, of which I get normally rank about a score of 70 in.

9) I hate Math. Science too. The only thing I ever liked in Science was chemistry, because I got to make things blow up.

10) I like to pour glue on my skin, let it dry, and then pull it off. I have cheap thrills.

11) I would HONESTLY rather have my fingernails ripped off of my hands than go skydiving. If I'm caught in a plane that's going down, and I have to parachute out, you can bet that I'm going down with the plane.

12) My first two words were "Bank" and "Money." Strangely, I don't like being near money.

13) I like being creative. Not as in "Arts and Crafts," but thinking of things that other people wouldn't normally think of, and coming at things from a different point-of-view.

14) I adore lateral thinking puzzles. I am amazingly good at them. And yet, critical thinking puzzles boggle my mind. I just do not get them at all.

15) I am obsessed with smelling good. The smell of "just plain" skin smells funny to me. I like perfume and scented soap and stuff like that. I also burn candles all the time because I like the house to smell delicious too.

16) I am also obsessed with people's voices. Like, really obsessed. Have you ever closed your eyes and listened to someone talk? It is so beautiful. And as far as physical features go, I could care less what someone looks like. As long as you've got a good voice. I love voices.

17) I am a radio DJ, flipping channels several times to find a good song. I don't tolerate bad music well. My family doesn't tolerate my channel flipping well either. So, when a bad song comes on and they make me leave it on, I sing along to the music in the most annoying voice possible until they make me stop.

18) Dancing/singing fruit makes me laugh. Seriously - the Fruit of the Loom commercials? Cracks me up every time.

19) I hate ice cream, but I think frozen yogurt is the best thing ever.

20) I live by the girl scouts rule: Always be prepared.

21) I am a MAJOR picky eater, and yet, I like trying new things. The idea of a lot of foods (Black Pudding for instance!!) make my stomach lurch, and yet, I'd probably try it, given the chance.

22) Green is my favorite color because it is the color of life.

23) I think baby animals are the cutest things in the world. Bunnies, baby monkeys, baby penguins (Biscuit!).... you name it. I say "Aww!" every single time I see a picture of one.

24) When I was little, I used to put on one of my Dad's ties and topcoats, and then rush outside to see him when he got home from work and surprise him by being dressed up just like him. Supposedly, it was cute. I think it's disturbing. I was a 7-year-old crossdresser. *Shudder*

25) I have a harmonica, and I make up little ditties on it all the time. Mind you, I have no idea how to play a harmonica properly, but I like making up my own little tunes. Same with the piano.

There! That's my twenty-five. What's one random thing about YOU? (And David Hasselhoff -- "I can't sing" doesn't count, cos I already know that.)

Merry Christmas!

So, Christmas time is almost upon us. This means several things... Christmas presents, sweet little treats baking in the oven, candles burning, family togetherness, Christmas carolers, annoying people ringing bells for the Salvation Army (of which is a good cause, but sadly, I think the only reason people give the bell ringers money is to shut the stupid noise up), people shouting "Happy Holidays" at you 24/7 because apparently "Merry Christmas" is offensive now (and I'M offended that I can't say it anymore... people who get offended by having someone wish them a Merry Christmas need to suck it up and get a life. I don't get offended when people wish me Happy Hanukkah, and I'm not Jewish... I just smile and say "Thanks," so like, chill out. If you get offended by someone wishing you a good day, then you shouldn't be allowed in social places. What a way to ruin Christmas, I'm telling you).... it ALSO means that once again I get to go on about history. See, I like history. Like, a lot. And one of the things I like learning about is the history of holidays. So, tragically for you, this blog shall be a be a brief history of Christmas. And it's not what you think either.

Long before there was Christmas, there were still huge parties during the month of December, because of Winter Solstice. The sun would go down, and people got all scared that darkness was closing in, so they'd build huge fires and such to try and convince the sun to come back again, and once it did (because it always did...), they'd throw these huge parties to celebrate that the sky was no longer falling (How original, right? It's pre-Chicken Little). There were lots of different Feasts, depending on where you came from. You had Saturnaila, of which the Romans celebrated, and you had the Feast of Aset, which was Egyptian, and you had Yule, which was Norse (that's still celebrated by Wiccans), but the one that put Christmas on the calendar was the Feast of Mithras.

The Feast of Mithras was celebrated by the Romans (but it went back to the Persians, as Mithras was a Persian god), and also went by the name of "Unconquered Sun Day." The god Mithras (the Sun God) was born on December 25th and the Romans celebrated his birth. Sound familiar? The Christians chose to celebrate the birth of Jesus on the 25th for two reasons, 1) they could not be persecuted for worshipping God, because they wouldn't stand out... it was a party day! And 2) a Christan writer back in 320 AD was quoted as saying "We hold this day holy, not like the pagans because of the birth of the sun, but because of him who made it." So, Christmas was celebrated on the 25th for both religious as well as safety reason. Oh, and FYI, no one really knows the day that Jesus was born because unlike some people have tried to prove through astronomy, the whole thing with the wise men.... they weren't there at the manger when Jesus was born. So even astronomers were able to prove when the star was that popped up, they couldn't set an exact date on his birth.

Another thing about Christmas is the Christmas tree. I always get a big kick out of the Christmas tree, because everyone says that it's a main part of Christmas and everything, but it honestly has nothing to do with Christmas at all. The Druids put trees up in their houses in the dead of winter so that there would be something green and living around. Apparently the ancients got depressed because winter making everything dead as well. It wasn't until the 1500s that trees started getting decorated. This started when martin Luther was walking through the forest and saw sun shining through the trees and was amazed by its beauty, and decided to put candles on a tree. The tradition stuck. Don't ask me HOW trees became associated with Christmas, because I honestly have no idea. It must have been something that happened over time.

Saint Nicholas is another thing in history... he was a real guy. He was a Bishop in the Greek church. he was given the nickname of "Nicholas the Wonderworker" because of all the help he gave to poor people, children and widows, such and gifting the children with small gifts, and leaving coins in people's shoes when they left them out for him. His tomb is in Bari, Italy.

*Pause* I seriously have no idea how to close this. I must say, this is one of my more boring blogs, but I can't help myself... I find it so interesting! History is something that everyone should learn... all the time. I mean seriously, how can you hate it? Learning of times of old is EXCITING!!

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas... try not to overdose on eggnog, eat too much fruitcake (EW.) or beat any bell ringers to death. Remember that Christmas is the holiday of Love, and that taking the bell away would totally spoil Christmas for everyone.

Or... almost everyone, anyway.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

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Santa Is A Creeper

I grew up without believing in Father Christmas. My parents were Santa Clause atheists and told me that Good Old Saint Nick wasn't real, but if other kids were to ask about him, I was to pretend he was real for their sakes. Sooner or later they would find out for themselves that he wasn't real. I was lucky to have never believed in the first place. Well you know WHAT Mom and Dad? You were WRONG. Santa is real, and he's a creeper. Seriously. I'm scared. Let's review the facts, shall we?

First, let's look at the evidence in songs. Take Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake"... how is THAT not creepy? What does he have, security cameras in your bedroom or something? (I used to think that my parents had a security camera in my room when I was little. Seriously. I was always afraid of doing something wrong, cos they'd see me do it.) He obviously is stalking children (take note to Here Comes Santa Claus - "He's got a bag filled with toys for the boys and girls."). Never once - in ANY of the songs do they mention him doing things for adults. Never. This edges on pedophilia. Or actually not edges... it IS. Why does he obsess with children? It's disgusting!

Second, let us review the obvious:

He climbs down the chimney to get into your house. Breaking and entering. He doesn't knock or ring the doorbell, he climbs down the chimney. He's sneaky, you see. You could get fingerprints off of broken glass, or test for DNA. He goes down the chimney though, and being covered in soot, and being down such a long shaft, it makes it near impossible to get any evidence from it.

He is discriminatory against short people. Seriously! Elves are his slaves! Is this no worse than Black Slavery in the Deep South? What an evil man!

He parks his vehicle on top of your house. Seriously, do you have ANY idea how many traffic violations that is?!? He does it every single time!

He takes cookies and milk as his trophies. Most serial killers take trophies so that they can remember their crime. A lock of hair, a person's watch, toenail clippings... it doesn't matter. Sadly, Santa takes milk and cookies. And I am not calling him a serial killer, cos there is no evidence, but have you noticed how crime rate goes UP on Christmas? A coincidence? I think not.

He endangers reindeer. We all know that reindeer cannot fly. He has obviously been genetically enhancing them so that he can mess them up, making them fly. I mean, looking at it from his point of view, it makes sense. Having to travel around the globe, he would have to break the bank to manage enough money to pay for fuel. So he has reindeer. We all wonder what he does the other 364 days of the year... well, I'll tell you. He's cloning reindeer, and trying to enhance them. Why the PETA isn't all over this, I have no idea. he is CLEARLY endangering animals, and it MUST stop.

These are just a few of the many reasons why Santa is a creeper and a bad guy. He is a pedophile who stalks children, breaks into people's homes, endangers animals, enslaves short people, violates traffic laws, and is a possible serial killer. Why the police have not stopped him, I have no idea. And Madonna is no help at all, singing her ridiculous "Santa Baby" song... why is it okay to act in such a way with a sicko such as that? I have no idea what so ever. The world is a crazy place. (By the way, if you look quickly, "Santa" looks a lot like "Satan.")

Here are some tips for a safe Christmas this year:

1) Place a satellite signal jammer in your house, so that Santa cannot get a visual feed into your house. He seems to be a fan of snow, no? Let him have some.

2) Place a fire poker and/or bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Live in an apartment? Put bars over the windows. Place a steel sheet over the window to the fire escape. The intruder cannot get in, but it will be possible to move in case of a fire.

3) Place deadbolts on BOTH sides of your door - the left and the right. That way he can't pry the hinges off and enter via the other side. Hinges are very easy to break. Also - if you have a glass or wood door, replace it with a metal one. It doesn't break that easy, and it takes much longer to get through with a blowtorch.

4) Place epicac in the cookies you leave out for Santa. Place just the right amount as to make him sick. You do NOT want to have a murder on your hands, no matter HOW bad Santa is. Simply give him enough to make him ill. It will slow him down and give the police a chance to catch him.

5) Keep a tranquilizer on hand. Remember that Santa is practically a sumo wrestler, so you will need extra strength tranquilizers... something strong enough to put down a bear should be good.

Remember just as your parents taught you - never trust strangers, especially ones that give you candy or toys!

Merry Christmas!

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P.S. If you still believe in Santa, and that he is not evil, you must listen to this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-47DYlMYn3w

Oh My!

I really shouldn't be losing my mind this early in life. I'm 17 years old... I shouldn't be forgetting things so easily. It's really bad. I mean it... it's horrible. And what's worse is, you probably have no idea what it is that is that I forgot.

*Leaving you a second to think about it* You still don't know, do you?

By time you have read to here, you have wasted about 20 seconds of your life.

And you still have no idea what my problem is.

Come to think of it, I don't know what my problem is. I do know what I FORGOT though, and is that I forgot to blog on Tuesday. Seriously. I just randomly thought of it as I logged on to check my email. I was like "OMG, I forgot to blog!!" (yeah, just like that... pretty basic, eh?). So, I logged on and tried to think of something to blog about. I thought about blogging about the worst music videos in the history of mankind, but after listening and watching over thirty minutes of horribleness, my eyes started bleeding right around the same time that my stomach started heaving, and I decided to blog about something else. And yes, exaggeration is my strong point. Or... maybe it's my weak point. You know what? It doesn't really matter. My point is that i am not blogging about bad music videos simply because I choose life.

By the way, the worst music video of all time award goes to David Hasselhoff's "Hooked on a Feeling." It is SO bad that you actually get the urge to watch it over again. And maybe once more after that. You know, like when you get a really bad bruise, and it hurts so bad that you can't help but touch it every once and a while just to see if it's really as bad as you remember? Or... is that only me? *Pause* ANYWAY... it's really bad. (I dare you to watch it. I DARE you to. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJQVlVHsFF8 )

So, anyway, after a long time thinking about it, I decided to blog about what I am thankful for. Cos I really am in a thankful mood today. I am thankful because my best friend is coming home today and is going to be home for several weeks, and I get to spend time with him!! I am soo excited! And really happy. I have missed him so much. I am thankful because it is snowing outside (I know, right? Since when am I ever happy about snow? I can't help it... Christmas without snow is depressing). I am thankful because I think I might ACTUALLY get accepted to the college that I want to go to. Not that I am getting my hopes up too high, cos I'm not, but... still... I am thankful. I am thankful for Vanilla-scented candles, which smell good, especially around Christmas time. I am thankful for penguins, because they have cute little feet and no knees. I am thankful for Yakisoba, which I am apparently addicted to, along with bagels. I am thankful for Finding Nemo, and other awesome films, such as My Fair Lady. I am thankful for Amazon.com. And Walmart. And vegetables. And the Beatles. And Elvis (Okay, so I'm stretching it a little bit).

I am thankful for everything.

*Dramatic pause*

EXCEPT DAVID HASSELHOFF!!!

Despair Inc. Is One Of The Most Awesome Places Ever!

This evening's blog will be a bit different than the others, and will be a little odd, I supposed. *Pause* Wait, don't I say that every single time? Yeah, just about! So, when you think about it, this blog will be JUST like all the others, cos it will be like none of them! *Yet another pause* That made absolutely no sense, did it? Oh well.

Anyway.... I wanted to blog about an awesome website I just discovered while surfing (And no, no one is bribing me to blog about this, and I'm not getting paid to do it... forgive me if I sound a bit like an infomercial.). I completely love it! I saw it a while ago, and I never really forgot it. I have since found it, and I am so excited!! It's called despair.com ( http://despair.com/ ), and they sell Demotivators. I'm going to post a few of them to show you what they are. basically this isn't a blog at all, really... just a "OMG, look what I just found - you HAVE to see this!!" thing. Yeah... that's what it is.

Seriously though, you need to go check it out, cos it's so funny. Awesome pictures plus satirical comments equals the most awesome thing ever. (No, seriously... the second I get more wall space, I am buying a BUNCH of these posters. I might buy a calendar too... you can design your own! It's awesome!)

I say awesome too much.

Anyway, you have to check it out! And if you don't........ well, then, I just won't talk to you anymore. Which is a kind of stupid thing to say, seeing that the only people who ever read this are either related to me or are so close to me that I say that they are related to me, even though they aren't, cos we aren't related by blood (and if we did, that'd mean that I'd have black pudding running through my veins. Although, thinking about it, I am about 1/2 English, so maybe his ancestors and my ancestors............. HEY, COOL!!!!!!!).

Check out the website and the pictures below!

Sorry for such a short "blog" my loves!

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Why I Don't Like Thanksgiving

So, it looks like it's the holidays again. Or almost, anyway. Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the holiday season - a whole month of festivity (supposedly). This also means that I get to spend the next month or so being a Scrooge. Or, not so much a Scrooge as.... well, I guess that's the best way to describe it, really. I am not the true Scrooge - I love Christmas. I like buying gifts (Seriously, I do. I love buying things for people... it makes me happy.), and I like decorating the Christmas tree, and I like hearing the soft piano music. I like everyone being joyous and happy. I love the crisp scent of snow falling and woodsmoke mixed with pine needles and fresh baked sugar cookies. It's how the world has ruined it that annoys me. I really just cannot bear it. Thanksgiving is what is starts with though, and that's what I am going to blog about today.

The first Thanksgiving was actually in 1619, and it was celebrated by English settlers on the day that they landed in Virginia. They observed a day of thanksgiving to God that was supposed to happen annually. A couple years later, many of the original people were slaughtered by the natives and they moved to Jamestowne, supposedly giving up the idea. The Thanksgiving that we all seem to see as history is that of the 1621 Thanksgiving with the pilgrims at Plymouth. Basically it was like the average keg party, except instead of having a huge amount of alcohol, they had a huge feast, and instead of getting hammered, they fellowshipped and praised God. Which actually when you think about it, there's nothing in common between the two except that they both have huge amounts of people gathered in one spot and they all end up digesting something in the end, but I'm the one talking here, so if I want to compare the two, I shall. (*Big "I'm Innocent" smile*).

ANYWAY, they held a feast at the end of harvest, and continued to do so at the end of each harvest, though no day was observed. It was something that you did at the end of every harvest, just like now, when you give a whole bunch of pumpkins lobotomies at the end of harvest, also known as "carving jack-o-lanterns." This, of course, is yet another very odd comparison in which both parties really have nothing in common. And I really have no idea why I said it, since I hate using the word "lobotomy." Ever since I saw that documentary on TV about lobotomies and how they were done and who they were done to and all that on, I have forbidden anyone to talk about them, cos it creeps me out to no end. (Seriously, you don't want to know. Think "ice pick" + "eye socket" + "Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.) Why am I even talking about this?! MOOving on! Thanksgiving never became an actual holiday until President Lincoln made it so in 1863, but he made it to be on the Thursday during the last week of November, whereas FDR changed it to be the second-to-last Thursday of the month in 1939, when that particular November had 5 Thursdays in it.

Such is the brief history of Thanksgiving. It was originally a religious holiday, but few celebrate it as such anymore. It's simply a national holiday (which is kind of sad, if you ask me). The thing that gets me though is that it is no longer about family and spending time together, which is what I think it SHOULD be about. Not that that's any fun, mind you. Everyone gets together under one roof with a whole bunch of people they can't stand (aka, "relatives") and has a huge meal together, which takes hours to cook, 40 minutes to eat, and an hour and a half of dish washing afterward. Mind you, this is only the ladies who cook and clean-up - the guys watch football in the living room and the kids run along and play (which is fun if you get to run around grandma's house and play games, laughing and screaming, but then Mom and Auntie ship you outside to play, and then it suddenly becomes boring, and all 15 cousins end up sitting out on the porch, watching the leaves fall as they freeze their butts off). And of course, there are ALWAYS leftovers... so much turkey that you swear that if you ever see another one, you will run it over with your car, set it on fire, and then dance its ashes. You never do this, of course, because turkeys are evil, and if you ever encounter a live one, you will understand what I mean by that. It's one big mean pecking machine. And not only does it fly, it has long legs so that it can run fast enough to keep up with you. Like a miniature ostrich.

The reason I don't like Thanksgiving is because it is so commercialized. Seriously, it is just as bad as Christmas (which we shall get to in a different episode of "Anna's Awful Holidays Revealed!"). It's gone from a quiet peaceful dinner to being some weird "turkey day." You know there is something seriously wrong going on when you receive "Happy Turkey Day!" cards in the mail, and people flood your inbox with e-cards that have turkeys dressed up as Tina Turner singing "I Will Survive." (Seriously. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hd4h5xKLGuE ). When will it ever end? Every single bit of happiness and traditionalism has been swallowed up by card companies and the media, turning all holidays into one big money bazaar. Why celebrate when you can be making a profit, right?

Another reason why I don't like Thanksgiving is because, as I said before, all of the leftovers. You know, I used to actually like turkey? I really did. It was my favorite meat. But not anymore... I can't stand it. Seriously, just the thought of it makes me gag.

Did you know that Benjamin Franklin wanted our national bird to be the turkey? It ended up being the bald eagle, of course, but I wish it was the turkey. Why, do you ask? Because if it were, it would be illegal to kill a turkey, and then we would have to use something else for Thanksgiving... something that wouldn't last two weeks in the refrigerator, cos there were so many leftovers. This Thanksgiving I will be staying home, eating meatloaf, and enjoying my time spent with my parents and two sisters. As Andy Samberg said - "I'm not part of this system!" (I adore Saturday Night Live... I really do.)

Happy Thanksgiving from me to you: http://www.sandiegocondoloft.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/san-diego-thanksgiving.jpg

- Anna

Vacation

Hello my dears. This is a brief apology. I will not be blogging tonight, my mind needs a rest. I've had an interesting weekend, and because I have, I've put a lot of work I needed to do off to the very last minute (aka, right now). I don't have a lot of time to think of something to blog about and go and write something, nor do I have time to write it directly on the spot like I have been known to do so often (most times, actually). So, due to the fact that I am crammed, I will be taking a short blogging vacation. I might take next week off too, but I'm not sure. I will be back soon though, fret not, my darlings!

I'm sorry. =(

Till next time!

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25 Films You Need To Watch When You Are Sick

Earlier today, I was asked by a friend what movie she should rent (She's just had surgery and is stuck in the house for the next week with nothing to do, and needs something to up her spirit). My mind, of course, went blank. There are so many movies to watch... SO many... and yet I couldn't think of a single thing. She, of course, thought that this was funny, because apparently, I am a film guru. *Dry laugh* Maybe five years ago. Now I am near-illiterate when it comes to the latest films (ask anyone)! Still... I should have known a few good films to watch when one is sick. It bugged me, not being able to think of anything, so I decided to make a list. And you know what? The moment I put the pen to the paper, the films kept coming and coming. I figured I'd share it with you guys, knowing that we're all sick at one point or another, and there's nothing better to do when you're sick than to curl up in bed and watch a movie. *Pause* Well, okay, sleeping is better, and taking cold medicine, and eating a whole bunch of junk that when called "comfort food" seems to make it okay to eat until you're ready to puke. But still... watching TV is up there....... somewhere.

ANYWAY, here is my list, in no particular order (and I shall go VERY easy on the details this time, I promise!):

1) Finding Nemo. I don't care if it's a kid's movie. It's freaking adorable. I LOVE this movie.. seriously. I could watch it over and over again and never grow tired of it. (And I really don't like kid's movies... so that's saying something.)

2) My Man Godfrey.

3) Elizabethtown. (Orlando Bloom... need I say more? ♥)

4) The Rock.

5) Chasing Liberty. (Matthew Goode... another hottie.)

6) Some Like It Hot.

7) The Devil Wears Prada.

8) Get Smart.

9) Gone in 60 Seconds.

10) Ocean's 11. (George Clooney.... Gotta love him.)

11) Mean Girls.

12) The Italian Job. This is the new one with Mark Wahlberg, not the older one with Michael Caine. (Mmm.... Mark Wahlberg!)

13) Galaxy Quest. Alan Rickman is in this one. He is my LOVE! Not cos he's sexy, cos he so isn't, but.... *Sigh* I love him anyway. He's completely awesome. In fact, I'd rather watch an Alan Rickman film than a Johnny Depp movie. Isn't that sad? Or... "interesting," anyway.

14) Mr. and Mrs. Smith. So, I'm beginning to think that maybe it's not the film that makes me feel better, it's the eye candy?

15) Two Weeks Notice.

16) Spy Game.

17) Air America.

18) True Lies.

19) Six Days and Seven Nights.

20) The American President.

21) Master and Commander. Okay, so, not really a film you'd watch when you're sick. But I love Russell Crowe.... especially when he's blonde with his hair puller back in a ponytail. I mean, what's not to love? Anyone can look at him and instantly feel better. "Anyone" meaning females or gay guys. Not sure the heterosexual gentleman would care. But then again, they have Catherine Zeta-Jones. Or so they say. Go watch Zorro (some freak in a black cape!) - we'll watch REAL movies.

22) Miss Congeniality.

23) Sweet Home Alabama. Patrick Dempsey AND Josh Lucas.

24) Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. No hotties in this one, sadly. Unless you count Sam Rockwell with long greasy hair, posing as the president of the universe as "sexy," and then... you know, I'm not really sure this blog is the place for you to be. Anyway, despite that, I must give you a warning. This movie is VERY stupid. So stupid, you can't watch it the first time without shutting it off. It's completely ridiculous. The thing is, it grows on you. After seeing it a few times, you begin to obsess with it, and pretty soon, before you know it, you are quoting the whole film. Oh, aaaaand it has Alan Rickman's voice in it, which makes it okay.

25) A Series of Unfortunate Events. Okay, so, I loved this movie. And then I read the books. And then I hated the movie. Why? Cos they're freaking MESSED IT UP. (I HATE it when Hollywood takes a perfectly good book and turns it into some stupid thing that is completely different than the main idea.) But then I watched it again, and I decided that I still loved it, cos Jim Carrey's in it. He makes such an awesome Count Olaf. He really does. I quote him all the time. Or, the whole movie, really. It's great (when you look past the fact that it was based on probably the best ever kid's books ever.).

Well, that's my list! What do YOU like to watch when you're sick (other than the back of your eyelids)? Leave a comment! =)

It's So Embarrassing!!!

They've done it again. Once again, my parents have embarrassed me. *Pause* Well, okay, that's not really true. My parents never embarrass me. They're pretty cool dudes, and two of my closest friends. I can't really think of a time when I was embarrassed of them... I was never that kid who wouldn't let her mom near her when she was out with friends, I was always proud of my parents. "Who's that?" they'd ask. *Motioning my mom forward* "That's my mom. She's a lunatic." *Impish smile while giving my mother a huge hug*

Okay, so I'm kidding... I never introduced my mother to my friends as a lunatic. You never know when there's an undercover psychiatrist around. But still... I've never been embarrassed by my parents that I can recall. Until now, that is. Would you like to know how they embarrassed me? I shall tell you, my dear friend. *Blushing*

They bought a Snuggie.

Yes, you heard right, a Snuggie.

*Blushing even deeper* It's awful....... I mean really, who buys a Snuggie? Especially when they know that their daughter has made it VERY CLEAR how much she hates them? What is the point to them, I ask you? What is the REAL point to a Snuggie? Let us investigate.

First, what IS a Snuggie? For those of you who lead very innocent lives and actually have a life (which I had too, before they brought a Snuggie into the house. Now I have to see it every day, and I have no life. All that was beautiful is gone, and now all I see is the thing! The sky, once brilliant with sunshine and happiness, is now clouded with sorrow and dread! I am forever tainted, for LIFE! Oh, woe is me!! (Okay, maybe that was a bit over dramatic. But you get the point)), you probably don't know what a Snuggie is. (Those of you who do know what a Snuggie is, I feel sorry for you, and I share your pain. Those of you who know what one is cos you own one-- go away.) I will explain it. It is a 1-ply (that is how I shall describe it... just like cheap toilet paper! HA!!!) fleece blanket/bathrobe hybrid. Basically, what happened was some guy (probably someone from a low-paying crappy job at Tesco or the like) took a blanket and put two huge (HUGE... think "Yeti version Kimono") arms on it and then stuck a $14.99 price tag on it and sold it to a whole bunch of retards who apparently thinks that it was a pure stroke of genius.

Let me tell you something. That was not a pure stroke of genius. If anything, it was a pure stroke of " 'Have you been drinking again?' 'Yeah, but dude, check this out, I put arms on a blanket... freakin' cool, huh?'." The poor guy... he'll end up living his life being known as "the guy who created the Snuggie." I almost feel sorry for him. Almost. I can't really say that I actually feel sympathetic to the person who caused my misery.

I'm sorry, I just can't get over it. Why would anyone want wear one? It reminds me of one of those hospital gowns - you know, the bathrobes they make you put on backwards after they take your clothes away (why don't people sue hospitals for this?)? The ones that don't really serve any purpose because they're not modest at all - everyone can see your backside hanging out of them. I bet they were designed like that for a reason - so that the hospital staff can laugh at you. I mean really, with all the dying and such going on, how are they going to get their laugh-of-the-day? I shall tell you how. By staring at people walking around with their backside hanging out. They are just mature enough not to paint "Kick me" right over the waist part on the robe. But just wait, it's coming.

*Pause* OMG, I totally get it!! THAT was why it was designed! The inventor was a mental ward escapee, and he modelled it after his outfit! It all makes sense! *Pause again* WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO WEAR THAT??? I just don't get it. There are two main arguments for Snuggies, one is that it is warm. Seriously, "warm"? It's fleece! The other is that it's sexy. Apparently the blind came up with that argument, cos Snuggies are the latest form of birth control.

You know what the worst thing of all is? They've made them for dogs. But then again, that could be very good. It's obviously animal cruelty... the PETA will have the Snuggie Corporation shut down in no time at all.

Sorry for my venting today guys, but I simply can't take it anymore!

What's YOUR take on the Snuggie? Leave a comment!

I Am A Talent Show Junkie

I really am, I'm a talent show junkie. I like all those TV shows where they have random people come up and audition to be the county's biggest star. Winning gets them a record deal or whatever it is that they are good at. You know what I'm talking about... American Idol, The X Factor, America's Got Talent, Britain's Got Talent, etc. I'm obsessed. -- Well, okay, not OBSESSED, but close to it. I rarely watch the shows when they are originally broadcasted cos I hate watching TV, I really do. I don't like a little glass-and-plastic box arranging my time schedule. When it's my time to do nothing, I say how my time goes. If I want to watch something, I either record it, watch it later on a different channel or watch it online. Some times I watch it live, but it is rare that I do so. Anyway, I like watching talent shows.

*Pause* You know what, I just thought of something. All the main talent shows I like have Simon Cowell in it. Maybe I just like them for him? No, it can't be true. But still, I am sure that he is a great influence. I love Simon. I'm going to marry him. Previously in the last blog I mentioned that I was going to marry Bill Gates or someone like him. Well, I have changed my mind. I always change my mind... you'd better get used to it. Anyway, I have decided that I am going to marry Simon Cowell instead. He's all that I've ever wanted. Funny, handsome, British (everyone knows that British guys are the best), not afraid to tell someone when something is wrong, and plus, he's a millionare... he can provide for me! Isn't that nice? I think he's perfect! Ah, at last I have found the one I was meant to be with! Now, some might argue that my soon-to-be-husband can be over critical and that he can be down-right mean sometimes -- nothing could be further from the truth. See, you all just don't understand him. And plus, even if he WAS over-critical... we all have our own faults, right? Love must overlook that.

All kidding aside though, I think he is an excellent judge. True, he can be a little harsh sometimes, but it doesn't mean he's not telling teh truth. He just hasn't gotten down the whole break-it-to-them-gently thing down pact yet. He'll come around eventually. *Pause* Okay, so maybe he won't. But still, I love him. He's got excellent humor, and he can easily pick out when someone has got real talent or not. I don't think he deserves all the bad stuff that gets said about him.

Speaking of which, I think now is the time to ask if you saw the "Triple Trouble" audition. It makes me laugh every time... talk about anger management issues! You've got these three teenagers, right? They get up on the stage and the judges ask what their message is, and they say that they want to show the world that not all teenagers are the same - teenagers get stereotyped for lots of things, gun crimes, drugs, under-age drinking, etc - they want to show the world that people can be beautiful too. Nice message, right? Then they start to sing. Or, attempt to sing, I should say. They try to cover Rihanna's "Umbrella" and fail epicly, singing in very nasal voices and off-key... complete crap. Simon laughs through the whole thing. He stops them and asks comicaly "Do you all have colds?" Funny, right? Apparently not to one of the singers, who threw a temper tantrum on stage, dissing Simon and then throwing his microphone down on the stage while the crowd shouted "Shut the f*** up!" Quite interesting, I must say. So much for all teenagers being different and beautiful. If you haven't seen it, you must. (Watch it!! --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQBMzQlH3sA )

*Long pause* Would you believe me if I came on to blog tonight only to tell you that I like Talent Shows and I am in love with Simon Cowell? Sounds kind of ridiculous, doesn't it, coming from someone who writes miniature novels every Tuesday night and posts them online, calling them a blog. But it is true.......... it is true. Oh, update -- within the next oh, I don't know, five weeks or so, I shall be blogging about how much I hate holidays. And about another three weeks after that, I shall be blogging about how much I hate Christmas music. And then, about another six weeks after that, I shall be blogging about how much I hate snow. I do not PLAN to do this, I just know that it shall happen. Why? Because I am always in a bad mood during the holidays, and I loathe snow. I know, I know, why would anyone be in a bad mood during the holidays? *Slightly dark laugh* You shall have to wait and see. Anyway, this is just a warning!

Thank you very much for tuning in and reading my half-page of absolutely nothing. I obviously have you wrapped around my finger. I have taught you well, my padwan. *Patting your head gently* I'll go fetch you a biscuit.

P.S.... Simon Cowell is MINE!!

My Christmas List

Yeah, I know. It's not even Halloween yet... why am I making a Christmas List? Well, you shall soon realize that this is no ordinary Christmas list. This is a SPECIAL Christmas list. It was made for all my tycoon boyfriends to see - of which I have none. But still, there's time, right? I mean... what about Bill Gates? I mean, he's what... 54? That's not so bad! Lots of guys marry younger women. It's all the craze these days: Harrison Ford, Donald Trump, Paul McCartney (who is NOT dead), right? And they're MUCH older than 54! Oh wait, he's married. Maybe I can bribe him to adopt a son? *Sigh* Anyway, regardless of the fact that I am not engaged to an oil sheik, I have still made a list. It is as follows (and yes, a lot of thought went into this. It took me all of 10 minutes to come up with the list. Apparently there's a lot of stuff I'd like!):

1) A Saab Gripen fighter jet. I didn't want it till Kev mentioned it. It's his fault that I want one. And when I say "want," I mean need.

2) A 2009 Bugatti Veyron. The sexiest car in the world (see above picture). 0-60 mph in 2.5 seconds, top average speed of 253 miles per hour, 1,000 horsepower... what's not to love? It costs $1.3 million, but that's fine... my Bill Gates guy can afford it. When I discover him.

3) Lex Luthor's private yacht (from Superman Returns). It's kind of more like a private cruise ship, but whatever. http://moviesmedia.ign.com/movies/image/article/710/710649/superman-returns-20060706060116250-000.jpg

4) A Bradley Assault Vehicle. I don't care what you say. It's cool, 'kay?

5) A Bazooka Rocket Launcher. Kind of disturbing that I have all this stuff on my list, isn't it. Oh well.

6) A re-creation of Noah's Ark. I don't want this for biblical reasons, I want it because, well... come on, the idea of a floating zoo is freaking COOL, okay? It has to come with its own cleaning service though. OH, and I have redesigned it so that it is "green." You wire the sewer line down to the engine room, and TA-DA, it runs off of methane!! Pretty ingenious, eh? *Pause* *Listening for applause and hearing none* Well you know what? No one asked you anyway.

7) Enya's voice. She has the most beautiful voice in the world. I wish I sounded like her. You can buy that, right?

8) A baby Orangutan. An IMPROVED orangutan, one that stays a baby FOREVER! Cos baby orangutans are pretty stinkin' cute. You know they are. Can you imagine holding one on your hip like a little toddler, and having its legs wrapped around your waist, and its arms around your neck, kind of hugging you? That would be so CUTE! I would do almost anything for that! (Which is why my wealthy "interest" is going to make it happen!)

9) A castle WITH a drawbridge. Now, before you say anything, I dislike castles. They are beautiful, but cold, dark and kind of creepy. BUT, that is not to say that I don't want to have one. If I could have my own little fortress to guard me from siblings, annoying neighbors and IRS agents, that'd be great. (Kidding about the IRS agents.... sort of. LOL!) A moat filled with alligators... sweetness. I'd need to get water treatment system for the smell of the moat though... moats are disgusting.

10) The Library of Congress. Biggest library in all of America. And yes, I know it's part of the American government, so technically, being a citizen and all I am a partial owner of it. But that matters none. I want it ALL. I'll share, of course, but still....

11) A Time Machine. That would be really nice.

12) James Bond's car. Not only does it have switching license plates, BUT it has an ejection seat, which would be completely wonderful for when I have an annoying passenger in the car.

13) A Giza Pyramid. It would have a big sign saying "Anna's Pyramid, step away please," with a big red flashing light at the top. My own little piece of ancient history.

14) The Batmobile. The one from the newer films, not the older one. http://api.ning.com/files/hoKguPC9vBTSSIGyq7LNaMgIJD9ecijRa8iPDwi1132hfX-*P3k-DltF-heXRv6dvf22qGZbyUxc9BVh97zzHSIiNKJ0SXd4/large_BatmanTheBatmobile1c5raidj.jpg

- and last but not least -

15) A Betty Boop body shaper. So that I can stay 5'5" and 95 pounds for the rest for my life. (I hated that cartoon, but that part I always found interesting. Please tell me you know what I am talking about.)

Well, that's it! Sadly, I shall never be getting any of the above listed, but hey, it's good to dream, right? What would YOU like for Christmas (extravagant ideas, people... nothing like "a waffle iron" or whatever. Unless, of course, having a waffle iron has always been your dream, and you never got around to buying one)? Leave a comment! =)

Ticked Off At The "Haters"

This will probably be a shorter blog than normal. The reason is that I don't have a happy or random thing to blog about. The thing is--I'm annoyed. I really am, I've had it up to *placing hand up next to ear* here. What am I annoyed at? The haters. Yes, I know I am not using that word properly - or am I? The proper term of the word is that of someone who is successful, and people trash-talk them because they are successful. Like those who hate Miley Cyrus, not because she's a slut or because she's as annoying as anything, but simply because she's famous, etc. I *raising hand* am a hater of Miley Cyrus (in case you couldn't really tell). I cannot stand her. She hasn't really done anything wrong (except for being the very annoying and slutty-yet-innocent person), but I dislike her anyway... very, very much. She's a famous person, someone who I don't think deserves fame, and someone who I am most certainly not proud of. Someone whom I dislike seeing their face plastered all over the place (mainly, Walmart (now changed to "The Hannah Montana Shrine.")). I just do not like her. That is what a true hater is. BUT, that is not the type of hater I am talking about. I am talking about the people who hate because a celebrity did something wrong, and they are so mad at them that they trash-talk them for ages and won't shut about them. You know who I am talking about? Yeah, those people. You see it written everywhere on the internet, you hear about it in schools and at work, people won't stop talking about it. Apparently it is the whole world's business to comment on a single individual's life and their mistakes. Well not me... I'm really pissed off. I am so tired of hearing about people's opinion on certain celebrities. "Oh, isn't it just awful?"... "He should be locked up for life"... I'm so sick of it. This blog consists of my thoughts towards the celebrities who have been in the news in the past few weeks.

Chris Brown. He beat his girlfriend up... which obviously makes him an animal who should die a long and painful death. (Please note sarcasm). Yes, what he did was horrible. It shouldn't (and didn't obviously) have gone unnoticed and unpunished. BUT, what happened wasn't something that happened often, or at all really - he got mad and hit her. He is not a "girlfriend beater" as they say... he just got mad, that's all. Now I am NOT defending him for hitting his girlfriend... it was not cool, not at all. It was wrong. But what I AM trying to get at is that people really need to stop trash-talking him. He doesn't deserve what people are saying about him. I have about had it. Neither did he deserve the sentence that he got from the court, but that's not for me to say.

Kanye West. He interrupted Taylor Swift as she went to give her acceptance speech for a music award and informed her in front of the entire audience that Beyonce should have gotten the award instead. THAT was very much uncalled for, and it for a day or two, I was ticked off at Kanye for it. What a jerk, right? But Beyonce made up for it, you know? Kanye apologized, and Taylor still got her little "moment." Everything's all happy-happy, right? No. Of course not. Kanye has turned into a joke. And for a while it was funny, especially when a DJ was playing one of his songs on the radio and then broke in halfway through the song to say "Sorry Kanye, I don't mean to interupt you, but......" and then left silence on the radio for the rest of the song, playing only blank air over the station. But it's been been almost a month now, and still you're hearing all this crap about him. It's getting old. He acted as a jerk, what he did was uncalled for. But you know what? Get over it. And Taylor Swift... if I hear "poor Taylor" or more time, I'm going to lose it. Yes... poor Taylor. Someone interrupted her. That NEVER happens in real life, now does it? No one has EVER interrupted me! *Sigh*

Pres. Obama. He doesn't have a birth certificate, and his father was born in Africa. That automatically makes him not American, and hence not eligible to be President. Seriously? McCain supporters must have really worked hard to find that one out. That is so STUPID! First of all, not having a birth certificate doesn't say anything. There is documented proof that he was born in the US - Hawaii, to be exact. It's not a birth certificate, but it's documented. It is completely ridiculous to try and accuse him of not being American. The other thing that annoys me is that everyone says that he's Muslim. Just because his name is Barack Hussein does not make him Muslim. "Barack" is actually a Hebrew name, if you look it up.

I don't know, it just bothers me, I guess. I hate it when people go on and on about people who don't deserve the crap they've been given. They messed up, okay? We all make mistakes. Except Obama... according to the birthers (yes, that's the name they've given those type of hates), Obama's mistake was being born. What is WITH people? Since this it "Life According to Me," I'd like to tell the whole world to get over it.

I'm sorry for this angered blog, I didn't mean for it to turn out this way, but I'm just so annoyed!! Is there a celebrity that you are tired of getting trash-talked? (And yes EK, I know who you think should get MORE of it........ LOL!! I love you.) Leave a comment!

To the "anonymous" person who asked about "My Man Godfrey," here is the plot summary from IMDB. I am not the best at summarizing things. =( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0028010/plotsummary

I Have No Idea Why I Am Blogging About Kids Books

As the above says, I really have no idea why I am blogging about children's books. Maybe because I am deranged, or maybe it's because (*in a "That baby is so cute! It could vomit down the front of my new Gucci dress and I wouldn't care cos it's just so stinkin' cute! Awwwww!" voice*) I'm a kid at heart. (*Little childish angelic smile*) Okay, so it's neither of them (although, my family would definitely argue that I'm deranged... I am the person who walks around the grocery store with a shopping basket on my head. My sister tried it and broke a jar of pickles. Since then we've been banned from the store. (Totally kidding... well, about the banning from being in the store part. Libby DID break the pickle jar.) So now I stick to balancing extra large pizzas on my head while walking around in Walmart. Oh, and wearing Burger King crowns all over the place. Yeah... maybe I AM a bit deranged.)... what really happened was I struck up a conversation with Libs about Doctor Seuss, and suddenly I realized... there are a LOT of awesome books out there! Kids books, that is.

Have you ever read a kids book as "grown-up" and thought "That's so cute!"? Well, it just so happens that all my favorite books were like that. Can't say the same for films though (well okay, yeah I can. The only films I ever really watched were Beauty and the Beast (Of whom I would go ga-ga for too, if he promised that I could have his library), The Great Mouse Detective (Sherlock Holmes for little kids) and 101 Dalmatians (of which I called it "Tea Time," cos that was what the maid said all the time, and I couldn't remember the name of the movie)). Sooooo... I have decided to make a list of my top 10 favorite kids books. I will try to be brief this time, but, uh, *Little smirk* I can't promise anything. Y'all know how I love to talk. =)

*Said over megaphone, cos I'm cool like that* Ladies and gentlemen... in no particular order.... my tooooop teeeeeeen!!:

"No Jumping on the Bed!" by Tedd Arnold. Best book ever, seriously. You want to know why? Cos the kid jumps on the bed like his father told him not to, and he falls through the floor and through all the other floors in the apartment building, taking everyone with him, and they all end up in the basement. Now is that not COOL, or what? *Pause* Yeah, yeah, I know... I have a sick type of humor.... (All joking aside though, you have to read it, it's awesome).

"Curious George" by H. A. Rey and Margaret Rey. Rumor has it that Curious George was created by the Reys after they escaped from Paris during WWII, and wrote the books about a monkey exploring the city just as they were exploring America. Don't know if it's true or not, but that's what I've been told. Anyway... I liked the Curious George books a lot. I don't like it so much now though, cos The Man in the Yellow Hat annoys me. He needs a name and a new wardrobe. Oh, and I saw a few of the episodes of Curious George on PBS, and let me tell you, it's annoying. I sit there and mock the whole thing, repeating every thing. And FYI, I can TOTALLY do the monkey voice.

"The Sleep Book" by Dr. Seuss. Can't read the book without yawning. Can't think about the book without yawning. Can't say "yawning" without yawning. *Yawning* Moving on...

"Harold and the Purple Crayon" by Crockett Johnson. A boy creates his own little world simply by drawing on the walls... what's not cool about that? That's freaking righteous!

"Green Eggs and Ham" by Dr. Seuss. I memorized the book. Seriously. (Oh, and by the way, Dr. Seuss did not actually pronounce his name as "soose", it was "sowse", rhyming with mouse. Just a little tidbit.)

"The Berenstain Bears" by Stan and Jan Berenstain. For some odd reason, I related to the bears.... don't ask me how. Weirdo-characters. (Oh, and what is up with the authors names?)

"The Poky Little Puppy" by Janette Sebring Lowrey. It reminds me of my sister. *Tiny chuckle* (The author was 104 when she died... just another interesting piece of useless information.)

"Edward the Emu" by Sheena Knowles. Edward the Emu... the low self-esteem emu... always wants to be better.... Man, I loved this book. (He ends up being very happy in the end, just as all emus should!). I got this book from a friend of my Dad's... they owned an emu farm.

"Winnie the Pooh" by A. A. Milne. My Uncle bought me the full set of Pooh Bear books when I was little... I don't know which one is my favorite. (I always thought Rabbit was a girl, by the way... since he has a garden and is always cleaning. Odd, I know... but whatever!). I still read them sometimes, when I get to missing him a lot. Which is often, it seems.... =( Winnie the Pooh was originally named "Edward Bear," thought I'd just remind you all, since it seems I am the only one who knows that anymore.

"The Tale of Benjamin Bunny" by Beatrix Potter. I liked ALL of Beatrix Potter's books, actually. Jemima Puddle-Duck, Two Bad Mice, Peter Rabbit... they're all great. Benjamin Bunny was my favorite though. He was cute!

My goodness! I actually kept it brief!! Well, sort of. Aaaaanyway... what's YOUR favorite children's book? (And comic books don't count, people. I'm talking actual books here. Biggles counts though! *Smile*) Leave a comment! =)

I am taking a vote... do you think I should change the layout of the page? I was thinking of trying out a new template. Let me know what you think! If you think we should change it, I will, and if you dislike it, we'll change it back the week after next. 'Kay? Thanks!

My Top 15 Favorite Classic Films

This is officially the hardest blog I have ever tried write. You want to know why? Because I have so many favorites that I had to sit down and revise the list over and over again. This list was originally supposed to be my top 10 favorites, just so you know. But I simply couldn't leave it like that. My first revise was to take it from 50 and take it down to 25. And then from 25 to 20, and then from 20 to 10. But the last one didn't work out so well... there are some you just CANNOT leave out!!

Classic films are the best type of movie, how people can dislike them, I just don't understand. I won't say I'm a "HUGE" classic movie buff, cos I'm not, simply cos I haven't seen enough to count as one. I don't watch a lot of movies anymore, I used to, but I've grown tired of TV. But, I used to watch TV all the time, and that's where I picked up my love for older films. They've always been the best... they've got this thing about them that you just can't copy. Movies are tiring these days, if you ask me. it's rare that you can find a film that has a good plot, was made well, and wasn't intended for children that does have something explicit in it, whether that be violence, sex or language. And I'm not dissing those things, some times it's needed in a film to tell the story. I mean, Braveheart would have pretty much sucked without having violence in it, right? But still, it's not needed in EVERY film. Classic films though... they're beautiful. You don't have that stuff in there. Or, to better put it - they were made in a way where it wasn't suffocating. You had fight scenes, but there wasn't blood (which is KETCHUP, I might add... or something like that. I used to get all "Eeeeeewwwwww!!" through violent movies until I released that it's just ketchup, and then I was like "'Cannibal Zombies 4: The Revolution'? Bring it on!!" (Just as a side note, I'd rather have my fingernails peeled off my hands than watch a zombie film, or anything of the like. MAJORLY retarded)); and you had sexual remarks, but they were subtle innuendos, not the strong nastiness that they are today. There weren't any explicit sex scenes, but they still got the point across. The language was subtle - none of the Die Hard dialogue that we see in most films......... do you see what I am getting at? It was so much better. You get tired of it all after a while, but classic films... they're immortal.

Before I reveal the list, I would like to warn you that I am a huge Cary Grant fan, so there are a lot of his films on the list (four to be exact, I think). I also really like Audrey Hepburn, Humphrey Bogart, Katherine Hepburn, Spencer Tracy, Jimmy Stewa- oh, you'll see. In no particular order, my top 15 favorite classic films:

Some Like It Hot (1959 - Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon). Two (male) musicians witness the St. Valentine's Day Massacre and escape the mob by dressing in drag and joining a female-only band. It's the most funny thing ever... I could watch this film over and over again until I'm blue in the face. I quote it all the time, as I do with most films I like. I can do whole scenes from this film, my favorite is when a guy proposes to Jack Lemmon, thinking he's a girl, and then Jack Lemmon goes back to the hotel room and tells Tony Curtis. Funniest thing ever. Favorite quote: (Watching as Marilyn Monroe walks past) "Look at that... it's like Jello on springs!".

Roman Holiday (1953 - Gary Cooper, Audrey Hepburn, Eddie Albert). An unhappy princess escapes from her bedroom one night planning to run away, and is discovered by a reporter, who decides to "befriend" her to get her story, so that he can get a front-page story; but ends up falling in love with her instead. Surprisingly, I like Eddie Albert the best in this film - the guy who plays the photographer. He is so funny in his humor. There are a lot of "behind the scenes" stuff I could say about this film, but I won't... I could go on for quite a while. Favorite quote: Gary Cooper: "Irving! I am so glad to see you!" Eddie Albert: "Why, did you forget your wallet?".

My Fair Lady (1964 - Rex Harrison, Audrey Hepburn, Wilfrid Hyde-White). A very snobbish phonetics professor makes a bet with a Colonel that in 6 months, he can take an ordinary flower girl with a horrid mouth and train her to speak beautifully, so much so that he can pass her off at a duchess at an embassy ball. This is one of probably THREE musicals that I like. Musicals are very stupid in my opinion. I hate them with a passion - dancing on table tops and everyone just randomly singing the same tune is so completely unlikely that... well, never mind. You get what I'm saying. ANYWAY... this film is hilarious - I love every bit of it (except the beginning, which is just so stinking long). My favorite quote - there are so many! I am going to go with "The French don't care what they do, actually... as long as they can pronounce it properly".

Adam's Rib (1949 - Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, Judy Holliday). Two lawyers - married to each other, take on a case together, each on an opposing side. The case effects their married life, and things begin to fall apart. As tragic as the film sounds, it's actually pretty funny. (*Spoiler alert* Just FYI, everything works out in the end... that's what makes it a good film). Favorite quote: (Pulling fake gun out of mouth, made of not black steel as it appears, but licorice, and biting it) "Licorice. If there's anything I'm a sucker for, it's licorice".

I Was A Male War Bride (1949 - Cary Grant, Ann Sheridan, Marrion Marshall). Two rivals are assigned to job to do together in the military, and end up falling in love. That's where the adventure begins though - the problem is dealing with military life after getting married. Seeing Cary Grant wear a skirt and a wig made of horse hair is one of the most interesting sites to see, truly. (Don't you find it a bit depressing that most of my favorite films involve drag of some kind? (Don't read into that too far)). I don't have a favorite quote from this one, cos my favorite bits are all dialogue! (Just as a note, if you like sarcasm, you'll like Grant's roll in this film... he's great. Actually, thinking of it, Grant always ended up with a sarcastic roll... maybe that's why I love him so much!).

Father Goose (1964 - Cary Grant, Leslie Caron, Trevor Howard). A guy is "persuaded" to live on an isolated island to report enemy aircraft that fly by to the navy. While living on the island, he ends up having a (shipwrecked) bunch of females live with him - half a private boarding school and their teacher. THE BEST WW 2 MOVIE EVER!!!!!!! I LOVE this movie! Once again, mainly cos Cary Grant's in it, but whatever. He's so funny. His banter between both Trevor Howard as well as Leslie Caron is the best. Favorite quote: Grant: "Frank! You can't do this to me!!" Turning to Lt. Stebbings "Who's in charge here?" Lt. Stebbings (pointing at "Frank") "He is". Grant (turning back to Trevor Howard): "Frank!! You can't do this to me!!!!".

Gaslight (1944 - Charles Boyer, Ingrid Bergman, Angela Lansbury). I seriously do not know how to describe this one without giving it away. It's a murder mystery, if you didn't know any better, you would assume that it's a Hitchcock film. But amazingly, it is not. It's his style though... it's a shame. Awesome movie though - you HAVE to see. (I don't have a favorite quote either. =( )

Sabrina (1954 - Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, Bill Holden). A chauffeur's daughter returns from overseas to discover that the rich playboy whom her father worked for who had seen her as invisible before was now in love with her, and - later - she discovers that it is not he that she is in love with, but someone completely different. Just FYI, this one is better than the remake. Most (MOST) times, remakes are better than the originals. But not in this case. I saw the remake first, and then saw the original, and I've got to say, it's so much better. The best part is when David falls through the "butt hole" (NOT what it sounds like) in the hammock. I adore that part. Favorite quote: "The glasses!!!"

Guys and Dolls (1955 - Marlon Brando, Frank Sinatra, Jean Simmons). It's about gambling. I can't describe this one either! If I were to say what it's truly about, it'd give everything away completely. This is one of the other musicals I like... as I said, it is very rare that I like a musical, I find them to be extremely ridiculous. This one (as all on this list) is a must see, though. Favorite quote: "I've always been a bad guy, and a bad gambler. From now on, I would like to be a good guy, and a good gambler. I thank you."

Harvey (1950 - James Stewart, Josephine Hull, Peggy Dow). IT'S ABOUT A BUNNY!!!! Okay, a six-foot bunny, named Harvey. Who is invisible. He's the main character's "best friend", but since no one can see Harvey (the rabbit), everyone thinks he's crazy, and they take him to the mental asylum. Things go awry from there. Harvey, the pooka. And that IS a word, don't try and say it's not! This film can be a bit dry at times, but that doesn't matter one bit... you have to watch it. It's priceless. It teaches you 3 things: 1) Six-foot white rabbits are not always late for important dates, they can also be your best friend. 2) Lots of people see six-foot white rabbits. 3) Unfortunately, those people are in the nut house. Don't tell people that you see six-foot white rabbits. Favorite quote: Wilson: (Reading in the dictionary) "'P-O-O-K-A : Pooka - from old Celtic mythology - a fairy spirit in animal form - always very large. The pooka appears here and there - now and then - to this one and that one - a benign but mischievous creature - very fond of rumpots, crackpots, and how are you, Mr. Wilson?' 'How are you, Mr. Wilson?' Who in the encyclopedia wants to know?"

Arsenic and Old Lace (1944 - Cary Grant, Peter Lorre, Josephine Hull). A man discovers that his two old aunts have murdered 12 gentlemen "mercifully", saying that they seemed sad and did it to make things better for them. Amidst this, his psycho brother returns home with a surprise - he has a body that needs to be buried. Things go on and on... three murderers, one crazy person, one drunk, two newlyweds and one sane person make the story better and better, equalling to one interesting evening in a house full of odd people. I watch this movie every Halloween. it's the only movie to watch on Halloween. It's the perfect film. Slightly morbid, and slap-your-thighs hilarious... you have to watch it at least once. This is another film I know by heart, which makes it hard to choose my favorite quote. It's probably when Cary Grant sings "There is a Happy Dale, far, far away.....", trying to convince the doctor to take his aunts to the mental asylum by the name of "Happy Dale".

My Man Godfrey (1936 - William Powell, Carole Lombard, Alice Brady). A homeless man is hired as a wealthy family's butler and ends up being more intelligent than the whole household, and ends up saving them from their problems without their knowing it. I love this movie SO much. Out of all the films I've listed, it's the best out of all of them. If you have not seen it, you really, really, really, REALLY need to. My favorite person in the film is Mr. Bullock - he is the most dry, sarcastic character I have ever come across. Example: Mrs. Bullock: "What did you say to Carlo?" Mr. Bullock: "I said goodbye." Mrs. Bullock: "Did he go?" Mr. Bullock: "Yes, he left very hurriedly through the side window". (He threw the guy out the window). I won't say my favorite quote - there's just too many to choose from.

The Philadelphia Story (1940 - Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn, James Stewart). A very wealthy woman decided to get married a second time, but just before the wedding day, she finds that her ex-husband, who works for "Spy" magazine, has dropped by the house with a reporter and photographer to make her life miserable, and he succeeds. It sounds awful, but it's great. The ex-husband's revenge... what's better? And it all ends up good in the end anyway. I don't have a favorite quote - my favorite part is where Katherine Hepburn beaks Cary Grant's golf clubs in half, and then Cary resists punching Katherine in the face and shoves her down to the ground instead. Sounds stupid, but it's the best part.

Bringing Up Baby (1938 - Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn, Charles Ruggles). A woman and a museum paleontologist (one of whom hates the other) are stuck in the country with a leopard. I am no good at describing these films. Best to go to http://www.imdb.com/ to read it there. Anyway, a delightful film. That's where the above picture is from. Seeing Cary Grant in a bathrobe is quite a sight, as I said about his horse-hair wig. He played such interesting roles, no? Favorite quote: Hepburn: "You're mad, aren't you." Grant: "Yes, I AM!" Hepburn: "Mm hmm... The love impulse in men frequently reveals itself in terms of conflict."

We're No Angels (1955 - Humphrey Bogart, Aldo Ray, Peter Ustinov). Three convicts escape from Prison on Devil's Island and decide to rob a shop in town. They enter at the wrong time though, and observe the problems in the family that own the store and decide to stay and help them out for a day before slitting their throats later. (They never do this, though). Okay, so My Man Godfrey and this film are tied for best movie ever. This film I REALLY know by heart - I can act out an scene in it. It is the most funny film I have ever seen, I think. I have waaaaaay too many favorite quotes for this one. The sarcasm is displayed greatly by Bogart, making him the best character ever. My (I guess) favorite quote: Andre: "What, haven't you seen anything like me before?" Jules: "Yes, but never on Christmas."

*Sigh* Alas!, there is my list. Long, I know, and boring... but if you've seen the films, you'll understand why I had to spend so much time talking about them. If you haven't seen any of these films, you need to. I mean it... watch them. (And that means you, Kev).

What is YOUR favorite classic film? Leave a comment!

EDIT - Sorry for the funny format, guys... blogger isn't letting the Enter Button work properly. =(

25 Things I Want To Do Before I Die

So, I thought I should make a list of things I want to do before I die. This has been a fairly hard list to make, because it was hard to decide what to put on it. There were a lot of things I could have put on the list, but they were things I could have gotten done within this next upcoming year. Everyone knows - (okay, not EVERYONE... a FEW people.... like... my best friend.... and my mom.... okay, well not my mom, I don't think... but she does now.... *Grimace* (KIDDING, Mom, I'm KIDDING!!)) - I hate goals. I really do. Or, not so much as I hate them as I hate MAKING them. Sitting there with a blank sheet of paper, trying to pull ideas out of thin air and scribble them down... it's just not me. I was half tempted to place "finish this list" on the list, since it took forever to come up with things I want to do! Eventually though... eventually, I figured it out. Here they are, in no particular order:

1) See the Taj Mahal. They are planning on knocking that thing DOWN, okay? That is SO not right. I WILL see it before I die, if I have anything to do with it. Nobody tears it down without letting Annagram see it!

2) Visit Italy. And when I say "Italy", I mean all of it... Venice, Rome, Milan, Naples, the little country-sides... you name it. I want to see all of it.

3) Learn to say "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" backwards. If Mary Poppins can do it, so can I. (By the way, I hate Mary Poppins). Also, I need to learn how to spell that word - I had to look it up. Sad, I know.

4) Learn at least two foreign languages. I'm thinking French and Italian. Spanish too... oh, and Latin.

5) Learn how to hack into a computer. Before you go all "OMG, ANNA!!" on me - I do not WANT to hack into a computer, I want to KNOW how to. There is a BIG difference.

6) See the Giza pyramids. They're so beautiful. I want to climb them. And take hundreds of pictures. I've always been into Egyptian stuff.... I saw the King Tut exhibit at the Smithsonian two years ago... THAT was fun. They had all the jewels and the sarcophagus and all there... it was awesome. The ticket price wasn't so cool though. Extortionists.

7) Visit England. It's so pretty...................... (and everyone's accent is so CUTE! Except people from Liverpool, whose accents apparently aren't English at all, as I recently discovered).

8) Sponsor a child through World Vision (or Compassion, or something like that). I want to so bad... http://www.worldvision.org/

9) Fly a plane. I like airplanes. I'm not obsessed with them, but I like them. A lot. (And Kev won't buy me a Saab Gripen for Christmas. He's so mean. ( http://www.stuorg.iastate.edu/aeemgso/Gripen_P_G_2002_6.jpg ))

10) Publish a book. The best thing I've had published was a poem.... not good enough.

11) Have a beach body. Who DOESN'T want to have a "beach body"?

12) Ride the London Eye. For those of you who lead deprived lives, the London Eye is the world's second largest Ferris Wheel. (This kind of goes hand-in-hand with goal #7).

13) Get Pilots License. Well, obviously this goes hand-in-hand with goal #9. But seriously... wouldn't that be totally AWESOME? "Do you have a drivers license?" "No, but I have my pilot's license..... can YOU fly a plane?" (Okay, so I SO would not gloat like that... but still, that would be freaking AWESOME).

14) Open my own photography studio. I really, really want this. I love photography.

15) Go fishing with my best friend. The chances of that happening are about 1 in one billion, but still....... I want to.

16) Learn how to build a bomb. ONCE AGAIN - DO NOT GO NUTS. I simply want to KNOW how, not actually MAKE one. Although, I must say, the idea of throwing cherry bombs in the school toilet DOES have some appeal to it.

17) Get my Masters Degree. I can and WILL do this, even if it's the very last thing I do. Ever since I was about 5-years-old, I have wanted to get my Masters, and I still plan to.

18) Go Zorbing. That's what the picture above is... zorbing. It's in New Zealand. They stick you in this huge ball and roll you down a hill. It looks AWESOME! (I say that word a lot, don't I). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sphereing

19) Expand my thinking - learn Philosophy, Psychology and Critical thinking and reasoning. If I am to be remembered, then I want to be remembered for having an awesome mind. And I want to expand my IQ too... being stuck at 130 sucks. I want to hit "genius"!

20) Go to the La Tomatina event. The world's largest food fight ever! I saw it on a travel show, and I simply HAVE to go!! And yes, I know it's in Spain. I don't even like Spain. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Tomatina (CHECK IT OUT!!! (If you're related to me, then you've heard me talk about it every August for the past 5 years, so you already know what it is, and you don't have to look if you don't want to. (But if you go with what I just said and don't look, then you're a slacker. (Slacker.)))).

21) Ride on an elephant. It sounds cool. Especially if I don't have to clean up after it afterward.

22) Learn to dance. Seriously, I can't dance. When I go to parties and such, I stay in the MIDDLE of the dance floor that way no one can see me. Sad, I know. "Learn to dance" also includes ballroom dancing. I learned beginner's ballet and Irish step dancing, but that was a long time ago, and I can't seem to remember it! Sooooo, I can't dance at all. It's very sad.

23) Join the Peace Corps. "Helping others" is my main mission in life..... I was made for the Peace Corps. The only problem is, will they accept me for anything? http://www.peacecorps.gov/

24) Kiss the Blarney Stone. I already have the gift of gab. But still, it would be fun. (For you deprived people: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blarney_Stone )

25) Walk on the Great Wall of China. Do I even need to say anything about it? I mean come on.... I have to! You can see it from SPACE! The only other thing you could see from space was Jimmy Durante's nose.

Well, that's my list! What's something YOU would like to do before you die? Leave a comment! =)