I Am A Talent Show Junkie

I really am, I'm a talent show junkie. I like all those TV shows where they have random people come up and audition to be the county's biggest star. Winning gets them a record deal or whatever it is that they are good at. You know what I'm talking about... American Idol, The X Factor, America's Got Talent, Britain's Got Talent, etc. I'm obsessed. -- Well, okay, not OBSESSED, but close to it. I rarely watch the shows when they are originally broadcasted cos I hate watching TV, I really do. I don't like a little glass-and-plastic box arranging my time schedule. When it's my time to do nothing, I say how my time goes. If I want to watch something, I either record it, watch it later on a different channel or watch it online. Some times I watch it live, but it is rare that I do so. Anyway, I like watching talent shows.

*Pause* You know what, I just thought of something. All the main talent shows I like have Simon Cowell in it. Maybe I just like them for him? No, it can't be true. But still, I am sure that he is a great influence. I love Simon. I'm going to marry him. Previously in the last blog I mentioned that I was going to marry Bill Gates or someone like him. Well, I have changed my mind. I always change my mind... you'd better get used to it. Anyway, I have decided that I am going to marry Simon Cowell instead. He's all that I've ever wanted. Funny, handsome, British (everyone knows that British guys are the best), not afraid to tell someone when something is wrong, and plus, he's a millionare... he can provide for me! Isn't that nice? I think he's perfect! Ah, at last I have found the one I was meant to be with! Now, some might argue that my soon-to-be-husband can be over critical and that he can be down-right mean sometimes -- nothing could be further from the truth. See, you all just don't understand him. And plus, even if he WAS over-critical... we all have our own faults, right? Love must overlook that.

All kidding aside though, I think he is an excellent judge. True, he can be a little harsh sometimes, but it doesn't mean he's not telling teh truth. He just hasn't gotten down the whole break-it-to-them-gently thing down pact yet. He'll come around eventually. *Pause* Okay, so maybe he won't. But still, I love him. He's got excellent humor, and he can easily pick out when someone has got real talent or not. I don't think he deserves all the bad stuff that gets said about him.

Speaking of which, I think now is the time to ask if you saw the "Triple Trouble" audition. It makes me laugh every time... talk about anger management issues! You've got these three teenagers, right? They get up on the stage and the judges ask what their message is, and they say that they want to show the world that not all teenagers are the same - teenagers get stereotyped for lots of things, gun crimes, drugs, under-age drinking, etc - they want to show the world that people can be beautiful too. Nice message, right? Then they start to sing. Or, attempt to sing, I should say. They try to cover Rihanna's "Umbrella" and fail epicly, singing in very nasal voices and off-key... complete crap. Simon laughs through the whole thing. He stops them and asks comicaly "Do you all have colds?" Funny, right? Apparently not to one of the singers, who threw a temper tantrum on stage, dissing Simon and then throwing his microphone down on the stage while the crowd shouted "Shut the f*** up!" Quite interesting, I must say. So much for all teenagers being different and beautiful. If you haven't seen it, you must. (Watch it!! --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQBMzQlH3sA )

*Long pause* Would you believe me if I came on to blog tonight only to tell you that I like Talent Shows and I am in love with Simon Cowell? Sounds kind of ridiculous, doesn't it, coming from someone who writes miniature novels every Tuesday night and posts them online, calling them a blog. But it is true.......... it is true. Oh, update -- within the next oh, I don't know, five weeks or so, I shall be blogging about how much I hate holidays. And about another three weeks after that, I shall be blogging about how much I hate Christmas music. And then, about another six weeks after that, I shall be blogging about how much I hate snow. I do not PLAN to do this, I just know that it shall happen. Why? Because I am always in a bad mood during the holidays, and I loathe snow. I know, I know, why would anyone be in a bad mood during the holidays? *Slightly dark laugh* You shall have to wait and see. Anyway, this is just a warning!

Thank you very much for tuning in and reading my half-page of absolutely nothing. I obviously have you wrapped around my finger. I have taught you well, my padwan. *Patting your head gently* I'll go fetch you a biscuit.

P.S.... Simon Cowell is MINE!!