How To Save America From Terrorist Attacks

The most annoying thing about watching the news is seeing all these terrorist threats and people going on and on about how "Why is this happening to us?" and all that yadda yadda yadda. It's kind of obvious, isn't it. No? Let's look closer. If you look at a timeline, you will see that before the mid '70s, there really weren't that many terrorist attacks. There had been a few, but that's when things really started to pick up speed. Now, let us think... what happened in the '70s that was so crucial? What did we do wrong? It really IS obvious. The reason why we were attacked was because they couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't take what, you ask? Television. American television. Mainly children's shows. Why the '70s? Because it was the beginning of Sesame Street and the Electric Company. That was what started it all. After that, children's television shows went downhill, and fast. And while they were going downhill, the terrorist attack rate was going up. Sounds silly, doesn't it? Let's look at a timeline:

1975: FALN sets off bomb in New York City, killing 4 and injuring over 50 people. Sesame Street has been around for 6 years, the Electric Company has been around for 4. Gunsmoke is taken off the air.

1979: 66 hostages are taken at the U.S. Embassy in Iran. Around the same time a poll was released that 44% of Americans were unhappy with what they were seeing on television. (SEE? Already it began!)

1983: 2 bombings in Beirut, 1 in Kuwait. M*A*S*H airs its last episode. Disney starts its own channel (watch how it goes majorly downhill from here).

1985: Rome and Vienna airports are bombed, a Spanish restaurant is bombed, an airplane is hijacked. The Wuzzles make their debut on television.

Do you see what I'm getting at? That's just the early stuff! Let's fast forward some.

2001: The 9/11 bombings/crashes in NYC, Arlington, and Shanksville, PA. The Wiggles goes on air, along with The Legend of Tarzan and The Proud Family. Dora the Explorer has been on TV for a whole year, and Barney & Friends has been on air for 9.

2002: Al-Qaeda bombs Karachi. Lizzie McGuire goes on television.

Shall we keep going? Fast forwarding...

2008: 2 suicide bombings in Iraq; the Taliban attacks a US base and kills 9 US soldiers and 15 NATO troops; car bombs go off in Afghanistan, killing several US soldiers; Mumbai is attacked, killing hundreds....... one of the worst years ever. Hannah Montana had been on TV for two years, and The Suite Life On Deck aired.

DO YOU SEE? They call it political, but it's not really, now is it? BEFORE all these ridiculous television shows did they attack? No. No, they did not. America was safe back in the day of Captain Kangaroo and Andy Griffith. Were the terrorists offended by Batman? No... he was harmless! Are they offended by Hannah Montana? You bet your butt they are.

Now, I am not here to make a mockery of any of the terrorist attacks or anything, please do not misread me. It's not something to joke about, and I realize that. I am merely saying... if you want to know the most obvious reason that this is happening to us, there it is. And the sad thing is that no one ever realizes it. Then again, no one ever notices the most obvious. So, Life According To Me is this: If we want to save America (and the world, really!), we need to ditch the stupid children's programs and put on something wholesome again. Something that the whole world approves of. This, I think will be an improvement to global society.

What do you think? Leave a comment!