The Deer Hunt

Okay, so the "But Wait! There's More!" blog just isn't going to happen this week. I am not going to have time to pull everything together. So, I have decided that instead of letting you site two weeks without seeing anything, I would post this instead. This has been laying around for a while, I was going to post it later, but I thought why the heck not, let's post it now!

It's entitled "The Deer Hunt", it is a one day journal of a deer hunter. I hope you like it!

The Deer Hunt

1.00am - Alarm clock rings.

2.00am - Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed.

2.30am - Throw everything except the kitchen sink into the pickup truck.

3.00am - Leave for the deep woods.

3.30am - Drive back home and pick up gun.

3.31am - Drive like crazy to get to the woods before daylight.

4.00am - Set up camp -- forgot the stupid tent.

4.30am - Head into the woods.

6.05am - See eight deer.

6.06am - Take aim and squeeze trigger.

6.07am - "Click"

6.08am - Load gun while watching deer go over hill.

8.00am - Head back to camp.

9.00am - Still looking for camp.

10.00am - Realize you don't know where camp is.

Noon - Fire gun for help - eat wild berries.

12.15pm - Ran out of bullets -- eight deer have come back.

12.20pm - Strange feeling in stomach.

12.30pm - Realize you ate poison berries.

12.45pm - Rescued!!

12.55pm - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.

3.00pm - Arrive back in camp.

3.30pm - Leave camp to kill deer.

4.00pm - Return to camp for bullets.

4.01pm - Load gun -- leave camp again.

5.00pm - Empty gun on squirrel that's bugging you.

6.00pm - Arrive at camp, see deer grazing at camp.

6.01pm - Load gun.

6.02pm - Fire gun -- hit pickup truck.

6.05pm - Hunting partner returns dragging deer.

6.06pm - Repress strong desire to shoot hunting partner.

6.07pm - Fall in fire.

6.10pm - Change clothes, throw burned ones into the fire.

6.15pm - Take pickup, leave partner and his deer in the woods.

6.25pm - Pickup boils over -- hole shot in block.

6.26pm - Start walking.

6.30pm - Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud.

6.36pm - Meet deer.

6.36pm - Take aim.

6.37pm - Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged with mud.

6.38pm - Climb tree.

9.00pm - Deer departs, wrap gun around tree.

Midnight - Home at last!

Sunday Afternoon - Watch football on TV, slowly tearing hunting license into little pieces, place in envelope, and mail to hunting partner.